this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
