Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
