All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's the barista slut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
