i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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