She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the day after is always just damage control
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Enjoy the penises
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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