The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
