I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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