i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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