She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize