the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
