Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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