Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
