So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
