I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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