i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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