before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
