this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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