scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
