my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
