Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
