I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
