i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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