i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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