the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize