she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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