i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize