I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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