i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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