Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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