A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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