those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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