at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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