HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We left an ass print on the piano.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
