sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
