Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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