I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
