2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
