Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
