The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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