i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Congratulations! We have a period
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
