girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
