So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
