thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
