he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
