I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
