I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
