We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
