Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
