Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
