If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
